27 Reasons Why this movie sucks

And now, a real post. Thank you.

I went on a double date on Saturday and saw 27 Dresses. Before you argue or judge my taste, there was nothing else to see, and it was $2.

Anyway, I could list 27 reasons (or 127) but I'm only going to list five. Okay?

1) As strange as this is to say, Katherine Heigl and James Marsden were wasted. Not to mention other fine people like... well, Melora Hardin is the only one I can think of...

2) Hollywood needs to learn that people don't join in when they spot drunk people singing along to the jukebox at a seedy bar.

3) Titanic was less predictable.

4) It is impossible to be a "beautiful writer" when you helm a Commitments column.

5) Heigl as the ugly sister? Umm, that means everyone else on Grey's Anatomy is fuuuuugly.

King of the Sptlas

This post has nothing to do with the entertainment industry. I'm completely off topic, and for that I apologize.

Have any of you (shut up, sptlas) ever wondered where all those testy and hilarious sptla comments come from? Let me explain.

In college, people often communicated through AOL IM. Sometimes roommates had serious discussions this way. But I digress.

I created a fake screen name, sptla38 if memory serves, so that I could get online unnoticed, glance at who was on, and sign off if I felt like it. A certain friend of mine (let's call him sptla) hijacked my screen name and sprouted many spawns, so that I would sign on as myself and several "sptla"s would talk to me at once. He apparently recruited high school and college friends to go along with the scheme. I even received emails with pictures of spatulas from sptla38@hotmail.com.

Now they are back. They're back with a vengeance. But this time, they're funny, and there's no reason I should care. The sptlas have spoken, spoken like they never have before.

Sptlas, you are liberated! Now shut up.